It never fails to saddens me each time I talk to you. I mean, after each time, you will seemed another million mile away from me. You seems a thousand times sadder. I miss every single smile of yours. Your charismatic smile. Is it gone?

You’re quite cute :p

Sometimes, it scares me. Really. Looking at how good the 13th Student Council is, I find it hard to meet their expectation of surpassing them. I really hope that one day, this day will come. Receiving this Golden Badge only signify the start of this Journey and nothing else. To emphasize once again, this role of “Vice President” is of no higher superiority to others in the Council. I believe that every role is equal, regardless of the fact that you’re the President or a member in one of the Standing Committee. This belief will stay throughout my entire journey. :)

Hey , do you know how worried am I for you? Ever since you entered that institute , you never seemed to be having a single day of happiness . It make me feel that your world solely revolves around school , test , marks and tutorial only . You have never ending amount of tutorials . You’re feeling lousy over marks . Your usage of profanities have increased over the days . I’ve never mind about those things . I said that I’ll accept you for who you are and I will but I’m really worried . Sometimes , I will just dream in school and my thoughts of train will come to you . I will just sit there , wondering if you’re doing just fine , if you have company during your breaks . If you have adequate sleep , if you have hydrate yourself , if you have eaten . I don’t expect you to do that . I mean which normal human being will ? Haha…
Sometimes , I wish I can be just right beside you , cheering you on , helping you out and motivating you . I’m so sorry that I made you frustrated . I’m so sorry that I’m miles away . I’m so sorry that I can’t be sorry . I’m so sorry that I couldn’t make it into that institute . I’m sorry .

It is all these moments that make me feel all alone . I hate these frustration . BUT THERE ARE JUST NO FUCKING PEOPLE WHO CAN BLOODY HELP ME ! How in the hell am I supposed to hand on for another 1 year and 8 months ? I really have no idea . I’m so dead . PW is really giving me so much problem just because I don’t have any access to Microsoft word . I really bloody hate it . Fucking hate it . Where’s my positive ness at this pathetic moment . Where’s the strength and motivation I promised myself? All these seemed to be lacking and in ruins . I try to keep my spirits high but it gets surpressed at every go , every turn . I feel like I’m going mad , really mad . It’s like some kind of dementor is near me . All the happiness inside me is being drain away . And where is the chocolate that will save me ? Where’s the Patronus that will save me? It’s all not appearing . I’m much more quieter in school compared to Secondary school . I just find that there is nobody I can go to during bad times in Pioneer . My buddy , my greatest friend isn’t here . I miss them . I feel like some shit here . Why ain’t things smooth at all ?

Today is the day I feel particularly frustrated about practically everything . Everything is shit . Really shit.